What, you thought he wasn't going to show up? Editorial mismanagement notwithstanding, Spidey's the original showboat, the guy who made heroism a suitable after-school job for generations of youngsters. People may wish they could be Superman or Batman -- but they can relate to Spider-Man.
Pluses: Unparalleled agility, dexterity -- and a motormouth that will get under anybody's nerves. Minuses: He's a Jets fan.
And meet Spidey -- The Next Generation. Robert Kirkman's creation has preserved the tradition of the teen hero and taken it to other worlds, literally. Want a power-set? How about Kryptonian-level strength, speed, the whole shebang. If Mark Grayson were in one of the Big Two, he'd be a superstar.
Pluses: Seemingly no limit to the kid's upside. Minuses: Who is this kid, one might ask ...
And from way out in left field -- Snap City, to be exact -- we bring you one of comics' truly unheralded stars, the indie wonder who's half-dead, all-hero. After his death, former hitman Frank Einstein wanders his crazy-ass world, defending it against the worst of the worst. Surely he could find a spot among the best of the best?
Pluses: Abilities include superhuman learning aptitude, psychometry and clairvoyance. So in the course of a day, he can learn to play football, then figure out what the defense is looking with a mere touch. Minuses: Dude's practically a zombie himself. Why not just start ninjas, pirates and Chuck Norris while we're at it?
A woman in the midst of a career renaissance. After years as a supporting character, and some time getting a little too, uh, happy at happy hour, Carol Danvers has finally come into her own in recent years, leading an incarnation of the Avengers and now striking out against Norman Osborn.
Pluses: Ever wonder what Wonder Woman could do with U.S. military training? Carol's your answer. Minuses: Still mentally vulnerable -- Iron Man managed to undermine her during their tenure with the Avengers.
The real new Green Lantern. While starring in his own critically-acclaimed relaunch, Rich Ryder has accomplished virtually everything the more-ballyhooed Hal Jordan has -- namely, survived a war in space (the Annihilation) and kick-started his own galactic police force, the Nova Corps.
Pluses: Supersonic speed has to come in handy, especially when it's fed by tremendous willpower. Minuses: Can he go head-to-head with a Lantern and not get labeled a copycat?
Wade Wilson could be the breakout character of '09, if Ryan Reynolds can honor the character in the upcoming Wolverine movie. Beyond that, he literally puts the X in X-factor. Unhinged, unpredictable, and indefatigable -- with a healing factor.
Pluses: Batsh-t crazy. Nobody wants to face this guy. Minuses: Batsh-t crazy. Nobody wants to be seen with this guy.
The old saying, "Keep an eye on the ball"? Not an issue here. Matt Murdock's hyper-acute senses might make him the smartest guy on the field -- he knows what's going on all around him and can maneuver accordingly. And nobody else refuses to lose as badly; the guy literally beat up the friggin' Kingpin.
Pluses: Arguably Marvel's No. 2 hero behind Spider-Man. Minuses: Put through an emotional wringer in his own book; a football game might not mean that much to him.
Besides writing my thoughts and reviews here, I'm a Special Correspondent for Racialicious.com and the co-creator and co-host of Hour 42, a podcast covering superheroes -- in the air, on the air and all around us.
Maybe I lied.
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